Insatiable?

I know I said I was going to post more vineyard photos next...but that's going to be the next post instead! I've been thinking about some things lately, after some rough times this week, and this morning I wrote a Facebook note about it. So I think it's going to go here too, for those blog readers who aren't on Facebook. :) Here you are...

There's something that happens to me at some point every morning. I bet just about anything that it happens to you too. My body tells me, "Hey, I'm hungry. I need something to run on, so feed me!" So I do. And then off I go to tackle the day's activities.

Well, several hours later, it happens again. I get hungry again...and often weak and shaky...whaddaya know, I need to eat again. What? Didn't I just do that, not long ago?

It would be nice if I could just do it once a week or so. Ever think about that? What if we could just eat a whole bunch of food on Monday, and then we'd have enough energy to go for a couple weeks before needing to eat again?

Nope...God designed us to need food every single day, and generally more than once a day. Hey, don't get me wrong, I really enjoy good food. But sometimes it annoys me that I need it so much. I can't get away without it for too long, especially if I'm working hard. I'm stuck. I have to eat.

So yesterday I was thinking about this. God made us like this on purpose. He set up our bodies this way so we'd be reminded every few hours of our need...not just for food, but for HIM. This quote from John and Stasi Eldredge says it perfectly:

      "This is the nature of our condition. All of us are leaky vessels. Sandy soil. When it comes to happiness, our soul is like a colander, a tire with a nail in it, our grandfather's memory. ...
      "Let's face it -- we are insatiable. We have in each of us a famished craving. An aching void. A returning hunger. If we are not aware of this, and if we don't know how to handle it, our insatiability will do a lot of damage.
      "The human heart has an infinite capacity for happiness and an unending need for love, because it is created for an infinite God who is unending love."

I need him so badly. I can't do anything without him. My heart is designed to need him. I was created to be best friends with him, and -- this really blows my mind -- he wants that from me too.

"My heart has heard you say, 'Come and talk with me.' And my heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'" (Ps. 27, NLT)

I've often tried to fill that void with other stuff...friends, food, work, movies, vacations, sports. You probably have your own list too. Don't get me wrong, those are all good things. God gave them to us! "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father..." (James 1). I love my work as a photographer. I love to ski. I love my friends. I love flowers.

But as good as these things are, I can't put them in his place. I can't expect the happiness from them that only God can give. Whenever I do, it always turns out disastrously. God will never make me fat like frozen yogurt. ;) He doesn't make my shoulders sore like when I get over-zealous and do too much butterfly at the pool. He's never impatient with me when I'm struggling, like friends or family sometimes are. He never misunderstands me.

You might think these things make you happy, but if you're expecting them to satisfy in ways that only God can, they will always come back and bite you! They're not perfect like Jesus is. This week has had some horrible moments because of some friends and activities that I put in God's place. I've felt abandoned, misunderstood, and just stupid. But if I take a step back and look at this for what it is -- it's that "insatiability" the Eldredges spoke of. It's my heart's "infinite capacity for happiness and unending need for love." Only he has the capacity to make me really, really happy, and all the people and things that seem to fill that void are just expressions of himself.

Enjoying that beautiful sunset? He made that. He IS beauty. Like the taste of that chocolate cookie? He made the cacao bean and gave mankind the inventiveness to come up with yummy ways to use it. Love the feeling of speed as you rush down the mountain on skis? He made the hill and the laws of gravity that make it so much fun! Enjoying a friendship? He gave you the capacity to love and enjoy companionship because he is the most perfect friend you'll ever have.

So, while I can't exactly say I've enjoyed the struggles of the last few days, I'm grateful he used them to remind me how much I need his companionship. He is so gently persistent, and so unendingly patient. People fail us but he won't ever, ever, ever fail me.

"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along." (Ps 40)

Enjoy the gifts. But remember the Giver. He made us insatiable...so we'd keep coming back to him. Because our hearts were "created for an infinite God who is unending love."

- Kelsey Schweickert

Discovering beauty...

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